I remember the first time I fell in love. I was fourteen then. It was the most ordinary type of “falling”. I was sitting in a bus, she was walking on the pavement. My eyes met her, she looked away promptly and moved on. I kept starting at her, without blinking. I felt something special. that night, was the first sleepless night of my life.
My first love was pretty much ordinary compared to my second love. She was a friend from kindergarten. After I went to high school, I lost contact with her. When I met her again, I was fifteen. I was riding my bicycle, she was walking on the street. Somehow, my bicycle almost struck her. She leaped to a side and frowned at me., She recognized me after a second. We started to chat. That day we walked together for a couple of hours recollecting the moments from our kindergarten. After we had parted, I thought, it would be better if I had noted her phone number. I wished to meet her again.
My convention about interesting love changed after another year. I fell in love with someone again. We met each other in an outing. That was the first time I realized that it is possible for someone to be mad for her love. I was a bit younger then, and also a hell lot immature. I failed to keep my emotions away from her. I made a few assumptions, and calculated approximate probability of hearing, “Okay, I can continue with love”, from her. I was wrong (actually I didn’t know how to calculate probability at that time). And that made me real sad. I cried every night, thought of her all the time, and most foolishly, I told my problem to a friend (I consider that foolish because there was actually no reason for me to be sad)
Everything comes to an end,as did my sadness. I fell in love the fourth time. And that time I was ready to commit to come relationship. After our first meeting, I came to know that she was affectionate for me too; that stirred me. I was very ready to expose my love to her.
We lost contact after we passed the secondary education. After a few months, I called her and talked with her for a while. But I didn’t feel any love for her.
Time will fix everything, they say. I think they are right. I shivered in pain, cried in sorrow, I thought that I was so ugly, no one can ever like me; I was wrong. My fourth love could have been wonderful if I committed myself. But I withdrew. I now feel that it is very foolish to say, “We love each other so much”, instead we should say, “We are great friends, we share everything, and we help each other”
Current science says that love is about physical relations, and so, I think, if we are not eager about sex, friendship is lot more important. And friends of opposite sex can be better. Hey, don’t take me the wrong way, I am more honest that you think I am. (Just kidding)
What we all need is friends. Find a friend with whom you can share everything, from your everyday chores, to what you did in classroom. I at least try to share my life with my friends.