She was asking her name, the name of the girl I liked. But I didn’t have the courage to tell her that it was she. When we both were running out of time, and our keyboards were becoming tired, I threw out something. I told that it was she. I could see her uneasiness flowing through some intricate keystrokes to my PC monitor. The Google Talk terminal made me feel that I didn’t make a good impression on her. And last night I too felt uneasy that I told her something that was a kind of social stigma. But after three years, I shot in a fragile moment.
But I never thought that the single confession would make me so light. I felt like new, like reinstalling my mind. I felt so much confidence today that I wanted to struggle in local trains to go to college, then I did all the physics stuff in college, so easily that it felt God, and even when returning to home, I felt so much energy that I could play a game of football. This is time I should return to science.
I know with such a confession, there is also a faint probability that she might not talk to me anymore, or she might take it lightly (as I expect). But it is now out of my hands. I know society itself is a so complex system that these light stuff can become complex. And that really makes me interested in such sciences a lot.
After three years of silence, I am finally free.
She told me that I was a fantasy dweller, and now I know that she was right. In my eighteen years of life, I never felt so light, so free. All that fantasy I had, was all an indulgence of pseudo happiness. Now I am happy that I have that rare non-physical energy, that would make me follow my passion and that energy is making me a man by the moment.
Lastly the thing I learned from this incident, I must note, is that we all have passions and remains a dream, but dreaming is nothing, will is everything. She was so right, I feel proud of her!