Suddenly today at our differential equations class, I felt that my brain is not working in the way it used to. Like I was slow today, to grasp stuff, that I studied before in my +2 course. Today, at Chemistry Laboratory I failed to decode the whole stuff in an instant like I used to at High School. I was slow to explain Special Relativity to a friend, even I failed to quickly grasp the Numerical Analysis examples there was in the Atkinson book.
And I find that really hard. I really love my intellect. And seeing that failing, I cannot stop myself to investigate it’s reason.
And my investigation while at bus; The Report goes like this.
1st Possible Reason: It is my hatred to the Engineering Syllabus that is making my brain lazy. It is complicated but not impossible.
2ns Possible Reason: It is my depression with myself, for being not able to study the hardcore stuff I like, is making me ill.
3rd Possible Reason: It is the stress that I am having to cope up with, with the Trains and the Buses. It is really bad at the time I travel.
4th Possible Reason: My depression due to the fact that I don’t have a Girlfriend. (Shut up! Bullshit reason!)
5th Possible Reason: I keep recalling that I am not studying Physics; Making me MAD!
6th Possible Reason: I am putting much pressure on myself, trying to learn many technologies (i.e. PIC Programming, Java, Ruby, Arduino Platform, CSS etc etc.) at once.
I don’t know the correct reason, but I think the last one is the most plausible. I hate to wait to learn. There is so much to learn, and there is so little time. So I need to make up all the time I can get to learn stuff.
I need to be more systematic to get to learn many stuff fast. I may not progress in the haphazard way I am trying now!