Reignited dreams

When I first tasted some real particle physics, helped by some physicists, I sought to study physics, some hard physics. Life said otherwise. I am now a undergraduate, studying in an engineering school, majoring in Electronics and Communications Engineering. I thought it would also be Fun altogether! But after studying one and a half year, this life of an engineering student is killing me. Maybe, only maybe I am getting myself frustrated more and more, and more I get frustrated, I am getting myself more frustrated in turn. It is a classic scenario of positive feedback.

The reasons as I reckon are something that goes like this.

There is no excitement in the classroom, which is very important for people like me. The last burst of excitement I had while studying Nyquist Sampling theorem. But the wet lifeless form in classroom and no such reaction from teacher, made the crispy excitement go wet in seconds.

The point of comfort during studying is very important, that I learnt during my best time at IACS. You cannot eally feel that the Fourier transform of a aperiodic signal is continuous and the periodic signal has discrete spikes in it’s spectrum while studied analytically. Our teacher tries his best, but it’s not really possible for average people like us, Geniuses aside. In my classroom, it’s the usual yada yada.

Why does people have to think about realism, practicality and all the time. Where did childhood go? There was a thing that was written on the a creative writing exhibition our college held few days ago. It was about Bad Effect of Television. And the ‘great’ writer said that ‘Batsman’ (Check out the spelling! Batsman? Man! I couldn’t help writing LOLs on my mind that moment), Superman, Spiderman are just a bunch of nonsense having bad effects on Children. What can I say? We grew up with these brightly colored stories. Hada Bhoda, Batul and Chacha Chowdhury and all these western super heroes, and they made us what we are. One of my friends and I, when we talk, it’s all pure FUN stuff, I wish I could go there to his place and play some games for a few hours, just to lighten myself off. But this professional animator is too busy these days, just don’t want to disturb him. I really respect his passion, commitment and persistence that he has. I wish I could have a chat with him these days.

No one talks about FUN, or it is just that my idea of FUN is different than others. There is so much negativity, no sporty spirit, how did people build such a system for themselves, or maybe it was just another consequence of social evolution. Makes me laugh sometimes!

Fundamentally speaking, I shouldn’t have come into engineering in the first place… … …

I should stop writing about the bad stuff, it might just overload WordPress servers!

“I should smoke a few cigarettes, that can take all the worries away”, that was the last thing I thought until I got my hand on Frank Wilczeks’ new book The Lightness of Being. It deals with particle physics and fundamental questions about the constituents of matter; written for the layman. We all need an impossible belief to keep us going through the days, I found what I should believe in! I rapidly laid out all the examples of such cases, it helps. My dreams are usually fickle, but this time I will keep that in mind also this time. I cannot go back and grow up again, can I? Let’s just stop the bleeding.


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