I changed the theme of the blog. At least, it would change the mood. It’s been too melancholic lately. With all the sorrow overflowing. I still am not stable, but I found a way to gracefully come out of it and move away from her life.
It’s by whining. I am pretty sure, the more I whine, the more she is going to move away from me, rather than Loving me. Thus I am whining. I kept whining for three days. Maybe I will keep whining more until I get the notion the explanation won’t bring her back and she would get the notion that I am too weak for her. I believe it’s an elegant way to split up. In this way, she will have the courage to Love someone else again, and I will have the confidence to say that she was utterly nonsense.
If she fails to understand after all the things I have said to her, then she is just not normal. And that would help me bear the fact that I am rejected, because I am rejected by someone who is not really, well, a bit loose in the brain.
If I lose all respect in her eyes as a man, that will help her notice other people. Other guys who are single, she can hook up with. She says she doesn’t really want to Love anyone, I believe she just cannot believe that she is not in Love. And she couldn’t do that since her break up with her ex.
I hope I was able to explain why I started whining. I had to make it look real, that’s why I called sometimes. I text her at a high frequency. It’s like, text, text, text(cry), text, text, phone(cry), text, text, phone(cry) … … …
Don’t get the notion that I am happy doing this. It’s my way of splitting up, but it hurts, and it’s hurting like hell. It’s just that whining is not essential.
In the end it’s her loss. I did advertise my Love for her. She couldn’t grab it.