There is a system that is operating society so that it runs properly and without damage. This is the system that is responsible for what we are. This is the system that is responsible for making us prepared to make contributions to the human race, to our planet, to life. But, somehow I don’t feel the system is properly doing what it is supposed to do.
I am afraid if I give in to the system I will become part of this faulty system and I can never fix it from within it. I can see how giving in to the system will make life easier for me. I can have peace, I can have solace. Then why it’s so difficult for me to getting along with the system. Why do I have to fight it all the time? I didn’t choose to be like this. I didn’t want to be like this. I was born and brought up inside this very system, then why I am the radical? I cannot just give up to the fact I am just another human being, operating under the system. I cannot accept the operation of the system. I keep fighting it without realizing it. As if my principles are keeping me from getting along the system. I started to question myself about my audacity in this manner. I started to question why I am like this, why I cannot hack this already charred and mal-operating system like everybody else and make their my life easy like them. Why do I have to pretend that the system is still fine and working perfectly well. I have been pretending that it is all my life.
Just to be clear why this particular blog post came up suddenly I must say I never asked myself these questions. I never wanted to know their answers. Quite recently it occured to me that I am fighting. Just fighting against this system without any progress or whatsoever. Now is this time I give in to the system, or shall I nourish my belief that the system is wrong and keep fighting the system to establish my belief? I have to make a choice. This choice will eventually define me who I am. This choice as imporant as ‘whether to keep on living or to commit suicide’.
It’s time I must make this choice…