A change

If I fell for the second girl then I never really loved the first girl. Something like this I saw from a Johnny Depp quote someone posted on Facebook. It kinda baffled and guided me into sorting out my situation. I was able to sort out this confusion that I had between two girls.

This girl and me, we are so clicky all the time, I started to realize even if we are two very different people we could do well, and not-to-mention, I really liked her. It didn’t take me long to fall for her. Given my history with girls and rejection I was amazed how crazily I can fall in love still without worrying about being rejected AGAIN. My big crash few years back made me think that I would not be able fall in Love again like the ‘glory days’ but I was feeling really really good that I was still retaining my uber-romantic heart.

Eventually I got restless and I went to confront her. I told her how I felt about her. And she simply said she just doesn’t feel the way I do. She knew about the other girl. She knew about the confusion. She even asked me to take time and think about it. She said I should start thinking about that other girl.

It doesn’t work like that. During my big crash I tried to run away, confront but the whole thing was too big for me to handle. I used to cry all the time and nothing there was I could enjoy doing. This time it is pretty mild. I don’t feel that much broke, or lost, or like a good-for-nothing-total-waste-of-space. But deep inside me I do feel sad, and somewhat rejected in body and soul. I am sure she has her reasons and I respect that but it would be great if I had this girl in my life. We enjoy being connected. And the simplicity of this relationship I love.

Every girl I met in my life somehow shaped my life. Everyone with their uniqueness. Everyone was special to me. With that in mind and with a big sigh I have to keep living on and trying to cope up with the concept of ‘Forever alone’ and hoping to be able to Love someone.

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