I am not like ‘Marvin’…
Whenever I get rejected by a girl (twice it happened, and many times more) this whole sensation comes to me (and my blogging frequency increases).
It’s a tickling & tingling sensation, irritating; And the worst part is the more you scratch it the more uncontrollable it becomes. It’s a combination of sorrow, being helpless about the current situation and the futility of trying to let the whole thing go. It’s a vicious feedback cycle that feeds on itself.
The primary conflict happens when ‘you love the girl so dearly’ + ‘you cannot do anything to get her’ happens inside you brain (which you fondly call heart). When you try to solve that conflict, it takes so much energy off your brain you lose focus and all the loser parts of you brain get activated (you feel you are good for nothing) and pushes you to a melancholic state of mind which can either be fixed by a good amount of nicotine or a good geeky companion holding a uber-hard logic puzzle book or a sudden impulse of a singular exciting idea or some amount of alcohol (hypothetical statement, no experiment done yet). And just when you think you had enough…
You read some online article about accepting the whole thing and you start trying to accept the whole rejection scenario and suddenly little hope pops into your mind and you start believing that you can actually get this girl. And then you disturb the girl with all your little ‘painful yet strong looking’ texts and let the conflict feed from the disagreeable texts that you get from that girl. Yet you don’t realize the conflict in your brain (which again you fondly called heart) is actually making you stare at the ceiling for overly long periods and blurring your vision with tears. Just to note, from an evolutionary point of view blurred vision is NOT GOOD!
The reason I am writing this post because I just had this ‘uncommon immensely irritating sensation’ few minutes ago, a day ago a few hundred times before, and I thought I should share my findings. I have researched the brain (which you fondly call …) activities during these periods of this ‘uncommon immensely irritating sensation’. There are hell loads of articles full of advice regarding how to cope with rejections from a girl (or a boy). All of them have some points in common such as ‘respect her decision’, ‘confront the rejection rather than denying it’, ‘accept that you still love the girl’ and ‘must not hate the girl’. I say all these points are tremendously important, especially the last one. DO NOT HATE THE GIRL. That’s what I did to a girl who rejected me, and I ended up hating her so much; I am sure I never hated someone such an amount before that and never I will hate someone in that enormous scale in my entire remaining life. FYI, I didn’t have any idea about how to deal with someone who rejected my after I changed all my life’s plans for her.
There is a chance that people who is currently getting through this situation might come across this article. I dedicate this part of the post to them. First of all, consider packing a space suit, survival gears, toothbrush, underwears and a copy of ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ button-screen edition and start hitchhiking through the Galaxy (and consider going to the Andromeda system sometimes). In case you are wondering; I read this delightful novel “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ by Douglas Adams in two stretches and finished it few hours ago and I believe my subconscious mind is busy processing the information it got from the quotes of the original ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ rather than being busy politically flaring up the conflicts in my brain. Keeping that in mind, READ this book. It’s awesome. Even if you are not in a rejection scenario, read this book! And if you already read this book lend me your copy of ‘The Restaurant at the end of the Universe’ (Yup! I am sure you have it!).
You see, ‘getting over rejections’ is a subtle Art. Let me explain, it took me a year and a half to get over a big rejection (and I stopped loving her eventually) and the next big rejection took me 36 hours 23 minutes 12 seconds to get over. Practice makes perfect, if I extrapolate it linearly as a function of n-th rejection, it would take me minus one and a half year (approx.) to get over a girl (assuming ‘n’ is the number of BIG rejections). To quench your thirst for mathematical analysis of day-to-day problems, I will devote another post on this very topic where I will consider more elaborate extrapolations and draw more plausible conclusions from it.
Secondly (To my friends’ who got rejected by a girl), you may keep on reading online about getting over a girl and/or getting over a rejection. All these texts directly or indirectly state that ‘you can do it’. No matter how sternly you look at the computer/ iPad/ iPhone/Android phone or tablet/ Blackberry phone or tablet [Okay, enough!] screen most of you won’t believe that you can do it until you finally get to Magrathea… I mean the planet where custom planets are manufactured… I MEAN to the point where you got over the rejection. So I say, struggle with all these emotions, cry a lot, disturb the girl with all your fumbling and mumbling and definitely try to follow the tips you found online. Just to note a little again, you don’t essentially need to stop loving the particular girl.